(Professor Muhammad Sarwar, TI, The University of Lahore, Sargodha Campus)
The observations made by Professor Stewart, a distinguished educator who spent fifty years teaching in Rawalpindi, offer valuable guidance for parents and families striving to nurture responsible, independent and capable individuals. Drawing on my own extensive experience spanning over 40 years in higher education, I echo Professor Stewart’s views: unless we prepare our children from the beginning and continue this preparation through university education, we cannot avoid staggering behind globally. In Pakistani society, the role of mothers is pivotal in shaping their children’s future. However, the tendency to over-nurture and over-serve can hinder children’s development. Mothers often perform all tasks for their children, including washing, ironing, polishing their shoes, preparing and packing lunch boxes, cleaning their books and bags, and making their beds. While these actions stem from love and care, they can lead to children becoming dependent and lazy, unable to perform basic tasks independently.
This pattern continues into university years, where parents continue to meet all their children’s needs, handling all transportation to and from university, washing their clothes, cleaning their bedrooms, making their beds, preparing meals and covering all expenditures until their children begin to earn independently. Such extensive pampering prevents the development of confidence and independence, hindering creativity, fostering laxity and discouraging goal-setting, leading to a lack of drive and ambition. Children raised in this manner may struggle to become the future leaders and innovators their nation needs.
In contrast, children in many advanced countries, such as the United States, Europe, Canada, Australia and China, are often raised with a strong emphasis on self-reliance and independence. For example, in the United States, children are encouraged from a young age to participate in household chores, manage their personal hygiene and even engage in part-time work during their teenage years. European countries often promote early childhood education systems that emphasize social skills, responsibility and independence. In Canada and Australia, children are typically involved in extracurricular activities that foster teamwork, leadership and self-discipline. Similarly, China has been increasingly focusing on educational reforms that encourage creativity, problem-solving and independent thinking from an early age.
To cultivate self-reliance, Pakistani parents should gradually introduce their children to responsibilities appropriate for their age. This involves assigning chores, encouraging participation in household tasks, teaching self-care and involving children in meal preparation. Fathers and siblings should also play an active role in promoting independence, showing children that every family member shares household responsibilities and mentoring younger siblings. Wives should avoid falling into the trap of servitude, which can further perpetuate dependency. Viewing the marital relationship as a partnership where both parties contribute equally to household chores and responsibilities fosters mutual respect and cooperation.
The cultural norm of over-servicing needs to shift towards fostering independence and mutual support, engaging in community programs that promote self-sufficiency and life skills for children and adults, and advocating for a cultural shift where independence and responsibility are valued and celebrated.
In conclusion, to build a strong, capable, and responsible future generation, it is crucial for Pakistani parents and families to encourage self-reliance and shared responsibilities from an early age. By instilling these values, children will grow into independent, responsible adults capable of contributing meaningfully to society. In the words of Professor Stewart, “Decide for yourself: if a child cannot even get up to fetch a glass of water, how will he take on the responsibility of the nation tomorrow?” Let us work together to raise children who are ready to take on the challenges of the future with confidence and independence. Parents must recognize that over-pampering, especially into the university years, will not equip their children with the skills and mindset needed to succeed. Independence fosters creativity, goal-setting, and a strong work ethic—qualities essential for personal success and national development. Children who learn to manage their own lives will grow into adults capable of leading their nation towards a prosperous future. It is high time that parents change their approach towards their children to create a real impact on society. We must start training and educating our children from the day they go to nursery and onward, ensuring they grow up to be independent, responsible and capable individuals. Stop blaming teachers and institutions, as the mindset shaped by parents can hardly be reversed. The future of our nation depends on the actions we take today.
