Prime Video’s Call Me Bae opens with all the subtlety of a ketchup stain on the face of an overstuffed designer handbag. From the first frame, it’s as if the show’s producers entered a competition called “How Many Designer Brands Can We Cram into One Scene?” The answer, as it turns out, is all of them. Louis Vuitton, Prada, Chanel—they’re all there, lined up to ensure even the most air-headed viewers understand that the protagonist, Bella (nicknamed “Bae”), is rich. Bae even names her designer handbags and says goodnight to them. Should we take her seriously? Of course not. But that’s the point, isn’t it?
This being a Karan Johar production, there were of course problematic undertones if you pondered on them for a bit longer than necessary. When Bae is kicked out of her bajillion dollar mansion by her husband Agastya, we’re supposed to feel bad for her. She’s cheated on him, sure, but now the poor soul’s out in the pouring rain with nothing but a closet full of designer gowns and no roof over her head. In a classic Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna way, Johar attempts to seduce his audience into rooting for infidelity with violins and close-ups of designer makeup running down the face. It may have worked in the early 2000s, but it definitely won’t now.
